Dating advice you can use in 2026

Actress and film producer Joy Ofod, who is the host of the show Love Is Unstable A podcast and comedy creator, she was actively and creatively looking for a boyfriend who would one day become her husband. Many of his friends are mentioned Bumbleso it was the first dating app she joined when she was single in 2021.

He was on top of something else applicationsand: HingeBLK, RayaTinder, The League — at different points over the course of a year and a half. “It was very exciting and engaging, almost the whole time,” he told Mashable. “It’s really opened me up to amazing black men from different walks of life who make me feel seen and important.”

There have been horror stories of disgusting interactions and mistreatment, too. But this process was so meaningful to him that he started Love Is Unstable write it down and remember it.

“Before I met Ivan, I had almost given up on finding a serious connection that met all my prayers and terms of partnership,” she said.

But then she met Ivan, a mathematical engineer and head soccer coach, and while they talked like friends for the first few months, they are now getting ready to get married.

They’re one of the many couples who fell in love after swiping right. Mashable interviewed four such couples about their lives, and each of them has advice for today’s singles — like not setting expectations and staying open.

Believing in love (in apps)

Joy believes that, from her perspective, dating apps have changed since she and Ivan got into a relationship.

“I talk to single women who have been on apps for years and are still looking for partners,” she said in an email to Mashable. “I think this widespread fatigue is contributing to the bad situation everyone is facing, so now apps are trying to tell people to do or say or comment in SOMETHING that will keep the conversation going.”

Joy’s advice for today’s dating app users? Don’t let scare stories dictate your private dating experience, he said. “Your outcome is not determined by the experiences of others or surveys or statistics, or even your worst experience.”

Don’t waste time teaching or convincing skeptics or naysayers, Joy continued. Instead, “focus on spending time with people who are dating and community members who believe that healthy love and partnerships from apps are possible.”

“Surround yourself with romantics, artists and believers. A person in this big world is looking for that person who is and will be. If you give up, he will not be able to find you.”

“Surround yourself with romantics, artists and believers. A person in this big world is looking for that person who is and will be. If you give up, he will not be able to find you.”

Elizabeth, a 31-year-old social media manager has also seen how dating apps have changed since she met her husband, Joe, on Hinge in 2020. He compared what’s happening with dating apps – like screenshotting weird messages – to how everyone’s attention span has been in recent years.

“TikTok is very popular, and…you watch all the videos at 2x speed,” he said, “I feel like that kind of goes with dating apps, too.”

He advised the lovers to put their best foot forward and show as much of their personality as possible.

When Joe signed up for Hinge again, he didn’t set his expectations, which is his advice to others.

“A lot of people, in general, have different ideas about what they want,” he said. “I feel like that’s a surefire way to be disappointed.”

Sexologist, sociologist, and relationship expert Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus it suggests balancing hope, understanding, and emotion with honesty. He also believes that if you set your own expectations, do it based on your own values ​​and needs.

“When you’re reading profiles and looking at photos (and when you start DMing), think about what values ​​the other person is conveying,” he told Mashable via email. “But it’s also important to directly share your values ​​and needs and ask about theirs!”

Receiving dangerous messages

Ashley, who met her husband Matt on OkCupid, recalls getting “horrible messages” from other users of the dating app, another common complaint. Major dating apps have tried to fix this, such as Tinder’s “Are you sure?” feature, which detects potentially harmful messages before they are sent, and “Does This Concern You?”, a prompt that allows users to report inappropriate messages.

“It’s very easy to feel at the time like, ‘Okay, like, I really want to do this. I really want to meet people,’ and go through the profiles and swipe, then close the app and forget to open it again for a few weeks,” Ashley said. “It hasn’t really changed in that respect, and it feels like it’s the same for other people.”

When Portia, a Black sexuality educator and content creator, was on the apps, some people said nasty, racist things that made her really uncomfortable. He said he can’t even imagine what that’s like now, “because I feel like people are used to hiding behind a screen, even more than they were nine or 10 years ago.”

Professor and Mozilla Foundation Fellow Apryl Williams argued in her 2024 paper, Not My Kindthat dating apps are not neutral platforms and promote sexism.

In interview no The Harvard Gazette at the time, Williams said, “Dating apps allow sexism to flourish because they rely on white heteronormative standards of attractiveness, desirability, and gendered beauty to make the sorting and matching algorithms we’re comfortable with these days.”

2025 article in the journal Edelweiss Applied Science and Technology he came to the same conclusion, he found that dating app algorithms “reinforce patterns of exclusion and discrimination by filtering and prioritizing certain profiles over others.”

Portia has also heard horror stories from women in her life who feel disrespected and rejected. Some of his single friends are a little afraid to be open and honest – to say openly that they are dating just to have fun, or to connect, or to be looking for a long-term partner. And in some cases, those single women have stopped because dating apps made them feel that way.

Through her work, Portia sees how dating apps have evolved over time. “Maybe there’s too much of a good thing, and too much access to too many people can lead to less communication,” he said. “It would make it very difficult to navigate.”

A licensed psychologist and relationship specialist, Dr. Nikki Coleman, told Mashable that it’s no surprise that encounters with racism happen online. “If a person encounters discrimination on dating apps, first of all, they should know that it is related to all the discrimination of the senders and has nothing to do with their importance,” he said in an email.

Coleman advises taking action that provides a sense of security and care. “That can include simply leaving the conversation, reporting the user’s profile as a violation of community standards, banning the user, or responding directly so they know how the comment affected them.”

“The most important thing is that those incidents should not discourage a person from finding the right person,” continued Coleman. “My best advice: Keep swiping and let the match be what you expect!”

Determine to grow together

Matt, 42, who married Ashley in 2020, would strongly encourage couples to accept that the person they’re looking for “may need some work.”

“They may not be fully cooked and not ready when you meet them,” he said. “Maybe they just need a year or two of being in a relationship with you to get more to that level of what you’re going to want to have in the long run.”

It’s good to be open to dating someone who might not be the “end product” of what you want, relationship experts say. Kinsey Institute executive director Justin Garcia said the same thing when he spoke to Mashable in February about it Gen Z and love.

“[A] a relationship is a container for making mistakes and finding them and you have a reliable driver to pick you up and support each other,” Garcia said at the time.

“[A] a relationship is a vessel for making mistakes and finding yourself and you have a faithful driver to pick you up and support each other.”

Ashley said she doesn’t think people should go out of their way to try to make it work with someone who isn’t ready to be in a relationship, but in the commercial and fast-paced nature of online dating, “you’re probably outnumbering the people you can connect with, because it’s so easy to do that.”

Alternatively, you can explore spending time with someone who is “a great investment,” says Matt.

Be specific about what you want

Sales representative Brian’s advice is to be honest, clear, and truthful about who you are and what you want. In the world of pickup artists again lookmaxxersyou may not find a real match if you are not authentic.

Portia, Brian’s partner, has had a happy, fruitful, and exploratory dating life, and although there were ups and downs, she believes she had many highs “because, number one, I was always clear about what I wanted,” whether it was a partner or not.

Gunsaullus spoke the same. “Instead of trying to attract and attract as many people as possible, switch to being clear enough, honest enough, and stable enough to find someone who is a good fit for the real you,” she said.

And if you’re looking for a partner, you can’t approach all situations and interactions like life or death, Portia said.

“I looked at dating as a mirror to myself and an opportunity to learn about myself,” he said, “to see how I react to certain situations and certain types of people.”

For example, if she’s been in a relationship with someone she thinks is “outside her league,” or if she’s been dating someone who made her uncomfortable, she’d examine how that made her feel and how she reacted.

“Especially if you are under 35 and not looking for a partner, dating is your chance to learn about yourself and grow,” she said. “And if you get good sex, if you get taken on amazing dates, if you have this good connection, all of that is a bonus.”