Beer, with a twist? SoCal dads find solidarity through unexpected work

GOLETA – For a few minutes, the atmosphere inside Captain Fatty’s Brewery in Santa Barbara County was quiet, a contrast to the usual Friday night noise.

On this May night, 15 men gathered there to face something few had the courage or ability to face before. Austin Nieves, a recent transplant to the area and the man who put this brave group together, broke the silence by offering a beer.

In a few minutes, these men, whose ages range from 30 to 60, started talking to each other.

Then they started braiding their hair.

The May 22 event — Goleta’s version of the virus “Pints ​​and Ponytails” are inspired by the UK night – sold out. The idea is to have professional hairdressers train unknown or frightened fathers on how to comb and braid their children’s hair, using salon-style head mannequins but in an alien setting.

“When the first guys got there, they were tough,” said Nieves, a Pasadena native who moved to Santa Barbara in April 2025. “After that first beer, they went from sitting on the edge of the bar to jumping in and learning and shooting.”

The rally was one of several dad activities for the Santa Barbara Dads group, which Nieves founded last spring.

May’s dad’s party provided, along with the suds, a learning experience and camaraderie between dads, which Nieves believes is much needed.

“When my wife had our son, she immediately became part of groups with at least five mothers who provided her with help, advice, friendship and training,” said Nieves. “As a first father, I really only had my brothers, who had children themselves, to turn to.”

Scientific research has shown that as fathers play a major role in raising children, they have experienced loneliness, doubt and confusion.

Researchers Chris Knoester and David J. Eggebeen wrote in 2006 in the “Journal of Family Issues” that fatherhood causes “decreased feelings of well-being and participation in recreational activities” as fathers spend less time with friends.

Psychologists Hillary Halpern and Maureen Perry-Jenkins write that the transition from single life to fatherhood is often accompanied by emotional changes. And researchers at Stockholm’s Karolinska Institute determined in a 2021 study that fathers may need help “during the transition to fatherhood.”

After a friendly competition, Chi Jou “Belle” Lin chooses the winning mannequin during the meeting on May 22.

(Christina House/Los Angeles Times)

One of the ways to help men in particular is a father’s group, according to a 2021 study.

Many men “were very satisfied with participating in fathers’ groups and explained that it had a positive impact on their relationship with their partner and child.”

Increased communication also helped to improve their self-esteem and family balance and reduced their loneliness.

Nieves admitted that her free time and focus changed dramatically after the birth of her son, Hudson, now 3 years old, as did her friend’s group updates.

“They were talking about all this crazy fun or TV shows and I was talking about my son being able to hold his head up,” Nieves said. “That’s when I knew I had to go.”

Nieves, then living in Costa Mesa with his wife, Katie, founded the Orange County Dads club in October 2023.

His group of happy men held meetings in coffee shops, beer halls and zoos, hosted holiday parties and even offered CPR classes.

Its success helped spawn a chapter in the Whittier area.

Although it is a father’s club, this group, Nieves said, has grown to thank wives and partners who share with their husbands by writing on social media.

Mikhail Alfon, founder of Blue Light Media, a social media strategy firm, took his son, Santos, to several Orange County meetings.

“This is our first child and it is clear that life changes a lot,” said Alfon in a social media post. “Finding peers and friends who are in the same stage of life is good.”

That sense of community, however, faced a challenge as Nieves and his family bought a house in Santa Barbara and moved in April 2025.

Peter Aguilar, left, and Fredy Medel work on their techniques. Medel’s partner, Daniela Fajardo, holding their one-year-old daughter, Faylani, is filming the event.

(Christina House/Los Angeles Times)

However, within a month, he had founded a group of fathers based in Santa Barbara. Their first meeting was in May 2025, and they have made a goal of meeting once a month.

Austin Jones, a Santa Barbara-based real estate agent and investor, found Nieves through Instagram.

“I’m a husband, a father and a businessman, and it ends up being a lot of hats but very little support, sometimes,” Jones said. “It’s nice to have people on the river with you.”

Jones was fascinated by Pints ​​and Ponytails as she struggled with the hair care needs of her 2-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Noa, and her frizzy, curly locks.

In a short time, Jones had gained enough confidence in whipping her mannequin’s hair into a ponytail that she vowed to try it with her daughter soon.

“I was pretty good at putting on a belt before this,” he laughed.

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Six mannequin heads and an hour of instruction came courtesy of Santa Barbara cosmetologist Chi Jou “Belle” Lin, who provides local mobile services.

“I saw a post on social media and a lot of people approached me to teach a class,” Lin said. “I had to help.”

Lin said the mannequins she brought with her varied in length and hair types, from straight to coily, but also good in texture, as she tried to replicate the hair of young children.

She also taught dads basic hair care techniques, including shampooing, stripping, checking for lice and how to tie ponytails and braids.

Even if they don’t talk at first, dads become active participants, asking questions about how to create a neat French braid, what to do with messy ponytails and how to deal with nervous kids, Lin said.

“I’m impressed by dads and their skills and real-life questions,” says the stylist, who has personal experience at home with her 2-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Lotus. “Not all men have the courage to ask questions.”

For Nieves, the secret to finding new dads and keeping others is simple.

“If you open the door, fathers will follow because everyone can use some help,” said Nieves. “But they just need to know it’s there and they’re not alone.”

Days after the Goleta encounter, Santa Barbara father Eric Drachman became a celebrity at his daughter, Noah’s, soon-to-be-3-year-old preschool.

“When the videos of the event were uploaded, the teachers at the school saw that I was standing,” said Drachman. They would ask my daughter, ‘Who did your hair?’

The most telling question, however, is when Noah asks his father to do his hair.

“He asks from time to time,” she said. “It’s a fun thing we have.”